Red Genius
by Fire Bear1
Summary: When Deadpool starts finding red roses left at his apartment for him, he desperately wants to know who it is (particularly if it's a fangirl).


_**So I was talking to a friend about an idea for fanfic for another universe and she mentioned it'd be good with these people. I thought it was a good idea so I went with it and wrote... this. ****  
**_

_**Unfortunately, I've only recently discovered (as it were) Deadpool and much of him is based off the Deadpool Corps series of comics and the game. And his episode in Ultimate Spider-Man. So it's probably awfully OOC. Same with the others.**_

* * *

_Swords?_

"Check!"

_Guns?_

"Check!"

**Let's shimmy on down, then!**

And, thus, Wade Wilson left his apartment in his full costume. He wrenched open the door yelling like Tarzan and jumped over his welcome mat. As he did this, however, he realised that there was something out of place. He stopped and spun round on one foot, the other raised behind him.

"Hm," he said, looking down at the mat. On the 'u' of the 'Fuck' was a single flower. A red rose transformed the mat to say 'Fick off'. Which meant almost the same as what it said originally, only with German. "Is this for me?" he asked himself.

_I sincerely doubt it,_ said the white box.

**But it was left on our mat!** said the yellow one.

_Why would someone leave _us_ a rose?_

**Maybe they **_**love**_** us!**

Deadpool raised an eyebrow. "I'm gonna have to agree with White Box on this one. Do we look like the type of guy to get all mushy over a rose?" Rolling his eyes, the mercenary picked up the rose. He sniffed at it and the sweet smell wafted up.

**It **_**could**_** happen...**

Wade threw the rose along the hall. "Sure. And we could also get elected for President. Oh, hey... That doesn't sound like a bad idea... Presidents get paid lots, right?"

_Of _course_ they do. They're the _President, said the white box snarkily.

"Yeah..." He turned away from the rose and walked sedately down the corridor, tapping his chin. "Well, we have a job to do – let's go!" And with that, he ran off, the rose forgotten.

* * *

Wade was annoyed. His order should have arrived by now. And so he found himself in front of his mailbox, considering using his 9mm to encourage the delivery service to work harder. He was hoping they had left it with someone. After all, he was _really_ looking forward to playing the games – there was a lot of killing involved, he'd been told. He supposed it would be good practice. Not that he needed it really.

He opened the little box in the foyer and was surprised to find not only junk mail and a little card about his package, but a red rose as well. He blinked before staring at it. "What the-?"

**Hey, I **_**told**_** you it was for us!** declared the yellow box.

_You're getting too ahead of yourself,_ said the white one. _It was probably just put in ours by mistake._

"Well, what do we do with it?"

_Give it to someone?_

**Oh, oh! Give it to someone with a bomb!**

_Like the delivery company._

_ "_Ooh, I like that idea," said Wade with a grin. He picked up the rose and held it as delicately as he could. Then he threw the junk mail over his shoulder (making it someone else's problem) and picked up the card. "Oh, they left it with a neighbour on the third floor."

_But we live on the fourth floor. Why did they leave it there?_

**Probably cause no-one on our floor wants to talk to us.**

Wade shrugged and walked off, walking up the stairs to the appropriate floor. He glanced at the card again to make sure he was definitely outside the correct door – 3B – and knocked. He twirled the rose between his fingers as he listened to the person inside making their way to the door.

T**his person takes**_** forever**_**.**

_Patience. Just a little longer..._

The door opened and Wade's eyes widened. A brunette with wide, hazel eyes was holding a towel around herself. She had clearly just come from a shower and her hair was dripping, strands of it stuck to her neck. Her skin was smooth and her breasts were barely contained by the towel, her cleavage clear to Deadpool. He grinned. "Why, hello there. I hear you have my package. One of them, at least." He winked.

She did not seem impressed. "Uh, yeah, well..." After surveying him a moment, she turned to the table in her small hallway. "Let me just get it for you..."

"Wait!" said the mercenary. He held out the rose as she turned to him, an alarmed expression on her face. "For you, babe."

After taking the rose from him she hurriedly retrieved the parcel and handed it to him. "Uh, well... Nice to meet you but... I gotta go."

"Anything I can join in with?" he asked.

The woman shook her head and swung the door closed. There was a click from the lock and a rattle of the chain.

**Aw, man! You blew it!**

"Oh, shut up."

* * *

Deadpool returned home in half a costume. His mask had rather large holes in it. A large chunk had been taken out of his side. He had also lost a boot and was walking awkwardly to accommodate this. He grumbled to himself until he reached his door and stopped in surprise.

**Someone really wants us to get a rose.**

_Fine. You win._

The rose was taped to the door with duct tape. Wade thought that it looked rather innocent and odd considering who lived in the apartment. He began to try peeling the tape away to get at the rose. "Do you really think it's for us?"

_I think it's safe to say that they want the person in this apartment to get a rose. We live here so I would conclude that, yes, it _is_ for us._

**Duh!**

"Okay, okay. It's for us but... Who's leaving us roses? Do they even know us?"

**Dude, they're doing this cause we're totally badass. We probably saved them or something.**

_One does not leave roses at a stranger's door. I mean, you could be leaving it at a distant relative's and that's just odd._

"There have been stranger things. Like The Human Centipede." Finally, the rose came away from the door. With a shrug he entered his apartment. "I wanna know who it is, then. I mean, who would want to give us roses? Oh, do you think it was that girl with the package?" He dropped the rose onto a table and headed to the bedroom to find a new suit.

_I doubt that very much,_ the white box responded.

* * *

A cat was yowling outside. It was several floors down and Wade could still hear it. With a growl he marched to his window and threw it open. Peering out over the fire escape, he spotted it. "Shut the hell up! Some of us need our beauty sleep!" he yelled at it, throwing the beer bottle he had been drinking from. It spun through the air, glinting in the street light before smashing close enough to the animal to startle it. The cat yelped and scurried away. Wade sighed in relief.

Just as he was about to close the window, he noticed something out of place on the windowsill. He stared at it.

_Another rose?_

**How'd it get there?**

_The fire escape, perhaps?_

"Why would anyone go to all this trouble just to leave a rose? Hey, you don't think...?"

**A fan! Ooh, I hope it's a fangirl! Those are the best!**

_Verily._

"So there's a girl running around, leaving me roses?" Wade stared into the sky, imagining a young woman with pigtails bouncing as she ran to him. Other things bouncing, too. He grinned and shut the window, retreating into his bedroom.

* * *

Deciding to make pancakes the next morning, Wade walked into the kitchen. He frowned. Something was different.

**Hello, fifth rose!**

"Huh?" And then Wade spotted it. The rose was sitting on the unit beside the sink. Not lying demurely on the surface but standing upright in a beer bottle. Upon investigation, it transpired that there was no beer in the bottle – it had been emptied and replaced with water.

**Did they pour it down the drain?**

_They better not have. We paid good money for that beer._

"Even though it doesn't work on us," Wade pointed out. He poked the bottle, making it wobble. "The next question is: how did they get in here?"

_You should probably start locking your door..._

Wade grimaced. "Yeah, I suppose." He never locked his door. After all, most people in the building knew about his weapons. None of them would break in. Besides, he usually fell asleep on the couch and would hear when someone came in. If that had happened, he would have sliced their head off and thrown them out the window. Instead, the night before, he had been in his bedroom. With a nod, he walked to the door and locked it before heading to the couch and flopping onto it. "Well, let's see them get through that."

* * *

After grabbing a beer the next day, Wade turned round to see another rose sitting in the bottle. He had already taken a mouthful of the beer and comically spat it out upon seeing this. Dropping the bottle onto the unit, he hurried through to check on the door. It seemed to be intact and he tried opening it. When he realised it wouldn't budge, he frowned at it.

_They didn't come in here._

**Where else could they come in from?**

_The window? You left it open, remember?_

Turning to it, Wade glared at the billowing curtains. He could feel a breeze even under his costume. "I'm pretty sure that's illegal. Usually I like illegal – but it's annoying that they can get in without me knowing."

_Well, why don't you try closing the window from now on?_

**Sensible suggestion!**

Wade nodded and closed it. He flipped the latch, locking it in place. After making sure the door and any other way in were also closed and locked, he went back to his Xbox.

* * *

It happened again. True, it was outside the window, but it was still there. Wade glared at it through the closed window. The worse thing was that he had been awake and in the apartment all day and yet hadn't heard a thing. So he wrenched open his window and walked down the fire escape before pulling up the ladder at the bottom. Finally, he thought, there would be no more roses unless they declared themselves to him. He wouldn't have to wonder any more.

This time, there was even a vase. A small white vase with a red rose. It sat innocently on the fire escape. "How the fuck did they get up here?"

_The roof?_ suggested the white box.

**Maybe they flew!**

_I think the roof and down the fire escape is much more likely._

"But that means they're a resident." The door to the roof was locked and only the residents, the caretakers and the landlord had the key.

_I certainly doubt that._ Their fellow residents did not seem to appreciate the swords and guns much. Whenever they passed a neighbour in the hall, they glared at Deadpool, hatred and fear in their eyes.

**Then how did the rose get there?**

_Why are they giving us flowers?_

"And who's doing this? Find out next time on Deadpool: The More You Know."

There was a slight pause and then Wade turned and walked to his cache of weapons. He picked out his best guns and swords and grabbed a chair. With a grunt, he opened the window and clambered through. Settled on the chair, he gazed around and glared into New York's evening alleyway.

_What are you doing?_

"Waiting for someone to turn up with a rose. Then we'll find out who it is."

_But with weapons? Won't you scare them off?_

"Hey, if it's someone I don't like, I can take the opportunity to shoot them."

**Then they can make beautiful roses with their blood.**

Wade opened his mouth to reply when he spotted movement in the air. It was heading towards him and he stood, frowning a little before he realised what it was. He grinned and waved, a gun still in his hand. Finally, it swung close enough to land. It crouched on the railing for a brief second before shooting something upwards and hanging from it.

"Hey, Wade. How's it hanging?" asked Spider-Man. "And, yes, I did just use up some of my web fluid for that pun." He dropped back down onto the rail, crouching in that way which meant that his legs were spread wide, his arms between them.

"All the better for seeing my friendly neighbourhood Spidey. Have you come to welcome me to this block, as it were?" He winked beneath his mask, knowing that the hero would noticed.

Indeed, Spider-Man rolled his eyes. "Dude." He hopped down from the railing so that he was standing in front of the mercenary and looked him up and down. "What are you doing, anyway? You're not... _up_ to something, are you?"

Deadpool shook his head. "I'm not but you should really pay closer attention to this place."

"Huh? Why?"

"Someone keeps breaking into my apartment. It's okay: I have a plan." He hefted his gun.

Spider-Man frowned. "I don't think you should use that. Put it away before you hurt someone."

A confused look swept across Wade's face. "That's the whole point."

"Look, you should just secure your place better. I'll keep a look-out, too. Have they taken anything I should keep out of the way of? A few ninja stars? A bazooka?"

"No, they haven't taken anything... Otherwise, we wouldn't be having this conversation. They just leave roses..."

"Roses?"

"Roses," said Wade with a nod.

"Roses...?"

"Roses." Wade nodded again.

"Roses... the flowers?"

"Roses," said Wade, picking up the vase he had left on the fire escape. He handed it to the superhero and the other examined it.

"Wow... It's even real..." He plucked it from the vase and twirled it between finger and thumb. "Someone likes you," he told Wade with a grin.

"Yeah, and I wanna know who can get here when I cut off every access point."

**And we wanna meet the fangirl.**

"And we wanna meet the fangirl."

"Uh, fangirl?"

"Fangirl," said Wade with a nod.

"Fangi-? No, wait. We're not doing that again. Why are you so sure it's a fangirl, anyway? This is a romantic gesture. You probably have a secret admir- Wait, that sounds like a fangirl and that's not what I meant-" Spider-Man broke off and sighed. "Look, the point is, how can you be so sure it's a fangirl?"

"That's why I'm out here with a gun, sweet cheeks," replied Wade with a shrug.

There was a moment of silence. They could almost hear the crickets chirping. Finally, Spider-Man sighed. "Is there any point in me telling you that's a bad idea?"

"Nope."

"Look, just don't shoot the person on sight – it might put a damper on your relationship if they're wanting one."

"Of course not. I'm gonna make sure it's not a fangirl with bouncing assets before I blast them to pieces." He winked at Spider-Man again who, once again, rolled his eyes.

"You shouldn't just blast them! You've gotta find out what's with the flowers."

"Oho? Has your curiosity been piqued to a level where you need to find out?" Deadpool nudged the arachnid superhero, winking all the while.

Spider-Man sighed. "No. I think I'll live if I don't know."

"Aw, come on – why don't you join me? It'd be a pretty awesome team up. I can bring the pretty and you can bring the awesome. Then again, I'm probably more awesome than you so let's both bring the awesome. I'll still bring the pretty, 'kay?"

With a shake of his head, Spider-Man chuckled. "Well, dude, I gotta swing off. Bad guys to take out, Jameson to annoy." He reached out a hand at a neighbouring building and shot his web fluid at it. He waved at Deadpool.

"Bye bye! Feel free to visit me soon."

"I'll keep that in mind," said Spider-Man. And with that he was off, swinging over the streets of the Big Apple.

* * *

In the early hours of the next morning there was a knock at the door. Wade was still awake and sitting on the fire escape when this happened and he sighed. Who would be at the door at this hour? He clambered through his window and made his way to the it before wrenching it open and glaring at the person on the other side.

The man in the cap and polo shirt looked alarmed. The shirt dictated that he worked for Flo Love, whatever that was. Wade glanced at what he was holding and his eyes narrowed. The red rose was stark against the white of the small vase the deliverer cradled.

"It's you, isn't it?" declared Wade.

"Huh?"

"You've been breaking into my apartment!" Deadpool grabbed the man by his lapels and the poor guy dropped his gift. "How are you doing it, huh? And what's your deal?"

"N-No! I-I swear, I've never been here before!" squeaked the young man, trembling in his grip.

"Oh, really?" said Wade. He grabbed a gun from his belt and pressed the barrel into the man's temple. "You're telling me you just _happen_ to have a rose?"

"Y-Yes! I mean, n- Look, I'm just doing my job! Someone paid for us to deliver a rose to you today! P-Please, mister, I swear, I've never broken into _anyone's_ apartment before! And I never will!" The panic was clear in the kid's face and Wade relaxed a little, letting him go and lowering his gun ever so slightly.

"So, where is this place you work?"

* * *

Wade gazed around the store. He felt like he was hemmed in: flowers surrounded him relieving him of an escape route. The air was heavy with sweet smells and he desperately wanted to get out of the place and get a taco or two. But he had a mission to do.

Finally, it was his turn. "Hey, missy," he said to the middle-aged woman behind the desk. "Do you know who sent the rose to Wade Wilson today?"

"Um..." said the woman, nervously, taking in his red and black costume. "I'm sorry, sir... I can't tell you that-"

"Aw, c'mon, honey. I just want to know who's sending me them."

"Ah, you're Mr. Wilson? Well, I'm sorry, but-"

He leaned across the desk. The woman stepped back, nervously. "Look, darling, just tell me who it is and I'll be out of here."

"B-But... I... He never left his name..."

"Hm, d'you have a description?"

"I... think he was... skinny and with brown hair – but I get a lot of customers! I can't remember everyone who came in."

Deadpool sighed and rolled his eyes. He glanced around, looking beyond the flowers to the walls. In the corner, a tell-tale red light shone. Turning to the woman, he jerked his thumb over his shoulder at it. "Can't you just look at that?"

"I-I can't let you see that!"

For a moment, Wade considered arguing. Then he shrugged and turned. After leaving the store, the yellow box spoke up. **You're just gonna leave it at that?**

_No. We're going to come back later. Right?_

"Yeah. Exactly. Let's-" He was interrupted by his cell phone ringing, surprising him. People didn't tend to call unless he had a job so he fished it from his pouch. "Yo? Oh, Cable, old buddy, old pal. How ya doin'?"

* * *

"Seriously, how are you still alive?" Deadpool asked Mr. Sinister. "Didn't I squish you with a giant boot already?"

The villain turned to him, anger written across his visage. As he raised his hand, he spoke. "I have no idea what you are talking about but let me _shut you up!_"

Before he could do anything more, Mr. Sinister was distracted by Cable who had begun shooting at him. "You missed me," he grunted, getting to his feet.

Deadpool grinned and stepped forward. However, he did not get any further as he felt something land on his head. Instinctively, he swung a gun upwards and fired before glancing upwards. There was nothing there. Confused, he looked down and found a red rose lying next to his foot. "What the-?" He looked up again and scanned the sky, ignoring Cable's calls for help for the moment. He could see nothing.

"Dammit, Wade – I need some help over here!"

With a laugh, Deadpool hurried over to assist.

* * *

The day after dealing with Sinister, Wade woke to a pounding. At first he thought it was in his head again. Then he realised that the pounding was actually knocking on his door. Rather persistent knocking, to be honest. He groaned and rolled over – and fell to the floor. With a grunt and a grumble, he rose to his feet and trudged to it. As he opened the door, he drew his gun, ready.

On the other side stood Spider-Man. Wade blinked. What was he doing, using the door? Didn't he normally appear at windows, hanging upside down? Or crouching on the sill? He raised an eyebrow and holstered his gun. "Hi?" he said.

"Hey," said Spider-Man. "Can I come in?"

"Uh, sure. What's the problem?"

"Nothing, nothing," said the hero, hurriedly, stepping inside. He paused for a moment, taking in the mess of Wade's apartment. Deadpool shut the door and ushered the younger mutate in, offering him a seat. Spider-Man shook his head and stayed standing. Wade hesitated before shrugging and flopping into an armchair, lounging across it.

"So, what brings you here – and with conventional methods?"

"I need to give you something important," said Spider-Man, his tone hesitant.

"A job?" asked Wade, interested.

"Uh, no. Here." It took Wade a moment to understand what Spider-Man was handing him. The red rose blended into his costume ever so slightly. But it was there. In his hand. And he was offering it to him.

"You... want me to give this to someone?" he asked as he took it.

Spider-Man laughed lightly. "No. No, this is for you. As were the other eleven."

"Other eleven..."

_There's only been ten, _the white box informed him.

"There was only ten," Wade repeated, frowning at him.

He sighed. "There were eleven. You just completely missed the first one. I was watching and you stepped right over it without looking. Then a neighbour of yours took it. I was gonna web them and explain that he was stealing, but I let it go. Of course, if you want, I'll get you another one. But it's not as though you've been keeping them..." He looked down.

"Well, what do I want with flowers? Wait... You've been giving them to me..." He glanced round, looking for signs of a trap or perhaps a hallucination. "Why?"

There was a slight pause. Spider-Man looked at him as though the answer was obvious. "Uh, because I... Well, I really like you. Like, like-like you. Love, maybe. But, I mean, uh..." Spidey trailed off as he realised that he was rambling now.

Wade just stared at him. "Really? Well, why didn't you just say so instead of the flowers?" He threw the rose over his shoulder and sat upright. Reaching forward, he grabbed Spidey's arm and pulled the superhero towards him. Spider-Man cried out in alarm as he fell on top of Deadpool who just grinned and pulled his mask up to reveal his mouth. "It would have saved a lot of trouble." He pulled up his own mask and grabbed the arachnid hero's face.

They kissed, Spider-Man breathless, Deadpool greedy. Their lips moved together in an instinctive rhythm. Wade's tongue poked at the younger man's mouth until he hesitantly parted his lips and let him slip it in. After letting their tongues tangle for a few more minutes, they parted.

"Less flowers, more kissing – duly noted," said Spider-Man.

* * *

_**This is just rather awful. Sorry. =/  
**_

_**The whole thing with Mr. Sinister. I thought it would be amusing if he was still alive because what happened in the game didn't actually happen. Or whatever. **_

_**Uh, yeah, sorry if you thought this was going somewhere and I broke off - I only wanted the flowers bit not what happens afterwards. I'm sure you can use your imagination.**_

_**I have no idea what Cable was up to. He's just there for the distraction, for the possibility that it's him and so he can say, "Dammit, Wade!"**_

_**I think that's all the points I can pick up on off the top of my head to apologise for. If you find any other problems, consider it apologised for in advance. That's all, folks.**_


End file.
